Life

I think I saved a life last night. It may not seem like all that much when it’s written down in black and white, but I felt pretty good about it at the time.

Now that I think about it, it seemed like the night outside was a little brighter. Just a tiny bit.

Perhaps, I should just tell the story before I break my arm patting myself on the back. The red-headed lady who raised me used to worry about that. She said she did anyway. It could have been an exaggeration.

I don’t sleep as much at night as most folks I know. It’s a lifelong habit I’m not about to break now that I’ve entered what we once called the golden years. I’m not unhappy to have the quiet hours of the night to read and to think. Occasionally, I even put down a few rambling words to share with my friends.

Which brings me to last night. Not sleeping, at about 2:00 a.m., I wandered through the house, checking the doors and appliances one last time. Walking into the darkened family room, I was startled by a bright, momentary light shining up on the ceiling near the outside wall. I wasn’t sure what it could have come from, but I waited a few seconds to see if it reoccurred. It never did but, still curious, I found a light on my phone and aimed it at the spot.

My mind had, in the few seconds I stood waiting, settled on the light from a firefly, or lightning bug, as the probable cause, but I thought it should have reappeared somewhere in the vicinity again if that was the case. Still, it wasn’t much of a surprise when the light from the phone revealed a lightning bug as the culprit.

There at the conjunction of the ceiling and outside wall, the bug hung, swinging unnaturally just an inch below the ceiling. It didn’t take long to see that it had flown into a barely visible spider web and become ensnared.

Before things get out of hand, I should inform you that the Lovely Lady assures me it hasn’t been very long since the cobwebs were last displaced by her brush, but the tiny arachnids can be persistent, constructing new webs in a matter of minutes when the mood takes them.

Did I mention they were tiny? Indeed, I laughed when I first saw what was happening. The lightning bug was jiggling back and forth as it hung there, and right beside it was the web-building spider, hardly one-tenth the size of its captive, busily spinning more sticky silk as it sidled around the body of the comparatively gigantic-sized lightning bug.

I like lightning bugs better than I do spiders. Who doesn’t?

We—most of us—chased fireflies as children in the twilight hours of the summer evenings, catching them and tossing them at each other, perhaps keeping them captive in a mayonnaise jar to light up our bedrooms later that night. I still love looking out over the freshly mown fields at night and seeing their flickering bodies lighting up the June landscape, making me think it could as easily still be fifty years ago.

But it’s not fifty years ago. And I can no longer bear the thought of even that one little bug dying to feed the tiny spider on the ceiling.

Reaching up gently, I pulled the bug and the web, spider and all, down from the ceiling. The spider, not to be denied its trophy, dropped down a few inches on a strand of web and then, crawled up just as quickly toward the lightning bug, ready to begin weaving the web-prison around his body again.

I shook the belligerent little assailant to the floor, making sure the connecting web was broken so it couldn’t make another trip up to the lightning bug, and then I examined the poor victim.

Motionless, its head was bent down towards its thorax, pulled by the sticky, nearly invisible web that remained around it. It wasn’t moving so much as a single leg.

I was sure it was dead. In fact, I considered simply tossing it into the trash basket nearby.

Instead, I gently reached down with my fingertips and pulled at the sticky web, all the while seeing the unmoving legs and body lying in the palm of my hand. It was hopeless, but still, I pulled at the stubborn silk. Being careful not to pull a leg off as I worked, the task took longer than I anticipated, but it was probably not more than ten or fifteen seconds later when the lifeless body was free again.

Did I say it was hopeless? Lifeless?

I did, didn’t I?

We give up hope much too easily.

Where once there was light, we see darkness; where there was life, death. Even though we have experienced reprieves again and again ourselves, we give in so soon to dismay and dread.

The last of the web came away and the firefly instantly righted itself and started walking in my palm. Instantly!

Not dead, but alive!

I closed my fingers around it loosely and headed for the door (nobody wants a lightning bug flying in their house while they sleep!) to return him to his natural habitat. I stood on the concrete slab outside the back door and opened my hand, waiting to see what the little bug would do.

He got to the ends of my fingers but didn’t fly away. In my experience, they always fly when they reach the edge. Always.

Well, almost always.

This little fellow had had a bit of a shock. Death had him in its grip. The foregone conclusion had seemed inevitable. And now, life and freedom beckoned.

He needed a minute to clear his head. I would have, too.

I lowered my hand a bit and then, after raising it quickly, reversed the direction again. He took the hint, launching into the night air. A few feet out from where I stood, the light from the chemical reaction in his body showed clearly. Once—twice—I saw his light, and then he had joined the other late-night beacons in Dr. Weaver’s field, lighting up the night as they have for so many centuries going back to time immemorial.

Back from the dead.

Silly, isn’t it? All this attention and emotion wasted on a little lightning bug. Still, my heart swelled a bit as I thought about the joy of seeing one who is as good as dead joining the multitude of the living again.

It reminds me of something…

It’ll come to me. Maybe to you, too.

But I will admit to one thought that dims my joy a bit. Just a bit.

I can’t get that tiny spider and its puny, thin web out of my mind. How is it that such a minuscule thing, armed with no weapon to speak of, can take down an enemy many times its size? And so effortlessly, too.

The preacher in me wants to expound.

The grace-covered sinner I know myself to be is certain there is no need.

Today is a day to rejoice!

Where there was death, life has vanquished it altogether. Darkness threatened, but the light has not been overwhelmed.

Life. Light.

Great joy.

“‘They cannot conquer for ever!’ said Frodo. And then suddenly the brief glimpse was gone. The Sun dipped and vanished, and as if at the shuttering of a lamp, black night fell.”
(from The Two Towers ~ J.R.R. Tolkien)

“And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.”
(Luke 15:9-10 ~ NLT)

Have you ever seen a fall so spectacular?

The Lovely Lady asked me—Me!—the question as we drove down the highway a week ago. She, who knows me better than any living person, asked the rhetorical question. Of course, you know rhetorical means you’d better not answer it any differently than the questioner quite obviously desires.

She knows I really don’t like autumn. Okay. Let’s call it by its real name—the one that describes it to a “T”. Fall. I don’t like fall.

I’m adamant about it.

You know what adamant is, don’t you? Besides a state of mind, it’s a type of very hard stone, once believed to be impenetrable—like a diamond. Adamant. That’s me when it comes to disliking fall.

But, the question hung in the air. Her rhetorical one.

I mumbled something. It may have sounded like, “I guess it’s okay.” I glanced over her way. She wasn’t just glancing. She was frowning right at me.

I thought I heard a little cracking sound. I smiled. “Yeah, it’s pretty spectacular,” I agreed. I did. I’m sure I heard a cracking sound.

The cracking sound has been so constant and so loud for the last few days, it’s almost deafening.

Well?

How does one ignore the spectacular beauty surrounding him on every side? Every corner I turn, every hill I top, reveals another vista that beggars me for description.

The colors, the scope, the array of diverse shapes and hues are breathtaking. Indeed, they appear more striking and brighter than in any fall I can remember.

Perhaps, I’m only getting old and forgetful. Then again, perhaps not.

The reason for the cracking noise, the breaking away of the adamant, wasn’t obvious to me until a friend brought it to my attention tonight. She reminded me that I have suggested fall was simply prelude to the dead of winter, a season sent only to remind us of the bleakness to come.

She’s right. I have done that. I have.

I repent. In more ways than just this, I repent.

Our Creator—the maker of all seen and unseen—gives good gifts. (James 1:17) Good. Gifts. The seasons, even the ones we find uncomfortable, are from His hand, achieving exactly what He intended for them from the foundation of the earth.

While the earth continues in its place, they will continue. (Genesis 8:22) He promised it.

Why would we dread the good He has promised to us?

Oh, I know each of the seasons has its difficulties. It is true for every one of them. Even spring, with its new life and verdant beauty, has its floods and violent storms. Summer stinks of sweat and is sweltering in its extremes. Autumn brings cold rains and reminders of death as the lushness of all growing things flees the coming cold. And winter? Well, perhaps I’ll just leave that to your own cold, dreary thoughts.

But each of the seasons, every one, has its promise and its joys.

Our God gives good gifts.

Still, you know I don’t dislike autumn only for its physical reminders of what is to come, don’t you?

We are not, for all the attempts of the cynics among us, primarily physical beings. These bodies, astounding as they are (some more than others), are merely containers for the real treasure, the thing our Creator values above all other created things.

And yet, we become attached to our containers. We pamper them. We feed them. We exercise them. We care for them.

What we don’t like to be reminded of is that one day we’ll leave the container behind, like the empty wrapper it will become, and the real part of us, the part valued most by our Creator, will go on to its eternal home.

I wonder why we hate that reminder so. A friend of mine wrote today of his anger in the face of a friend’s death. Another person quoted a poem as they comforted a mother, still grieving her son after eighteen years.

I know, she wrote, but I am not resigned. And, I do not approve. The words were from the poet, Edna St. Vincent Millay. I don’t disagree with them.

Still. Winter is coming. For every one of us, it comes.

I’m no theologian. I don’t understand what God’s plan was. I don’t know if the earth was to be our eternal home, and He would walk with us here in the cool of the day for all time. Maybe one day we would just walk up to heaven to live with Him. I don’t know.

And, it’s okay. I think it’s even okay to be angry about our losses, to disapprove of the manner in which we are separated from those we love. We were never intended to die.

But eventually, it comes around to this: We are still eternal beings.

The winter of our lives is not ultimately about death, but about life. The Son of God who came to earth, giving His own life for us, guarantees it.

The winter of our lives is not ultimately about death, but about life. The Son of God who came to earth, giving His own life for us, guarantees it. Click To Tweet

And just like that, I am—recently liberated from my prison of adamant—enjoying this season immensely.

Autumn has never—Never!—been so spectacular. I don’t want to waste another moment of its glory worrying about the season which will follow. Not another moment.

And so, this old container took my redeemed soul for a walk in the autumn rain today with the Lovely Lady. Laughing and soaking in the beauty of nature and the reminders of His grace and great love, we walked together, as we have in so many seasons before.

What a wonderful season in which to be alive. Physically. Spiritually.

And, my soul sings for joy. For some reason, I think I hear creation singing, as well.

Perhaps you know the tune, too.

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed:

Then sings my soul, “My Savior God, to thee:
How great thou art! How great thou art!”
(from How Great Thou Art ~ Stuart Hine ~ English missionary ~ © 1949 and 1953 by the Stuart Hine Trust. USA print rights administered by Hope Publishing Company.)

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
(Isaiah 55:10-11 ~ KJV)

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Random wanderings with Paul Phillips

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A Spectacular Autumn