The Weaver

My young friend has seen more of life in his twenty-six years than many of us do in all of our allotted time on this spinning sphere.  

I’m confident there is nothing I have to teach him.  Empty words are not what he needs today.  I don’t intend to offer any.

We talked about the troubles in this world that waylay us on our journey.  I had to work hard to avoid the trite words we who follow Christ keep ready to offer for such occasions.

Count it all joy when you encounter trials…  (James 1:2)

My grace is sufficient for you… (2 Corinthians 12:9)

In the world you will have tribulations… (John 16:33)

These words—and many more—are perfectly true.  Really.  They are.  But, that doesn’t mean we need to say them every time we speak with folks who are experiencing trouble.  

Well-meant words can become explosive devices when dropped from the great height of wisdom into the valley of loss and sadness.  Where ointment and salve are needed, we offer astringents and solvents.

As my young friend and I spoke, it seemed to me he still needed soft words that soothed the hurt.  

I’m better at cauterizing than soothing.

Today though, I’m feeling the exhaustion that comes from personal loss and sadness myself.  A kindred spirit, you might say.  I speak briefly of the person I think I would be, if not for the sad times that have driven me to cower under the shadow of His wings.

Arrogant and self-assured, is who I am when my own strength is sufficient to carry me through.

Our loving Father uses those times of loss to draw us closer, but also to shape us into the followers He needs us to be.

The unhappy events that come throughout life are folded in with the joyous ones—eventually.  All of them we have lived are a part of who we are—the sadness blending with jubilation—the horror mixing into the delight. 

The warp and weft of life.

loom-579967_640I heard the phrase the other day, and a picture formed in my mind instantly.  The patient weaver stood, row after row of drab colored thread laid out and running straight ahead on the loom.  The warp is in front of him already.

Beside him lay spindles of brightly colored thread, along with more of the same drab twisted material.  From those spindles, he will choose what goes into the weft, the cross-weave.  His choice will make a dramatic difference.

The exact color and pattern of the finished material are up to the weaver.  If he picks up the brightly dyed spindle, the material will come alive with a visible change.  Although the beauty might be marred by weakened thread, the dye having caused a reaction with the fibers, the resulting cloth will be more pleasing to the eye.  

More of the same neutral color will make a utilitarian piece of material, strong and useful.  Possibly, even a complementary neutral hue will lend interest, but not detract from the strength.

The choice is the weaver’s.

Side by side—and sometimes cross-ways—the different threads of life change the character of the material.  The good lies alongside the bad, the joyous crisscrossing with the sorrowful.  As the pattern is revealed, its beauty is also.

The Weaver plans to finish what He started. (Philippians 1:6)

How would He make a garment which was not of good quality?  He knows the plan He has for each of us and it will be for our ultimate good.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Even if we don’t like the color He is weaving with right now—even if the fibers are rough and coarse—His strong and able hands assure the beauty and strength of the completed fabric.

I will admit it.  The fibers are not to my liking right now.

Today, I’m not even sure I like the pattern I see emerging all that much.

The Weaver isn’t finished yet.

Sometimes, we simply trust and wait.

The warp and weft are still coming together.

The pattern is still emerging from His loom.

I’ll wait.

For Him, I’ll wait.

 

The pattern is still emerging from His loom. I'll wait. For Him, I'll wait. Click To Tweet

 

 

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.
(Fyodor Dostoyevsky ~ Russian novelist ~ 1821-1881)

 

For the moth will eat them up like a garment;
    the worm will devour them like wool.
But my righteousness will last forever,
    my salvation through all generations.
(Isaiah 51:8 ~ NIV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved. 

 

Message from a Hypocritical Fake

It’s kind of hard for Mom to see the road when she has tears in her eyes.

Our house guests had been gone not even an hour when the text arrived on my phone.  I laughed.  And then, I wiped the tears from my own eyes. 

As we hugged and said our goodbyes that morning, the girls’ mom mentioned how sad it had been for her to be packing.  I understood.  Their days had been full of old friends and swimming, of family gatherings and sleep-overs.  They were leaving to go hundreds of miles away.

It is sad.  But, I have to tell you—it’s also joyful.

It’s what happens when we love people.

The homecomings are all laughter and excitement, the separation, tears and sadness.

In between, the sweet times of fellowship are a delight; the distance of disagreement—heartbreak.

Love keeps us coming back.  Again and again, the cycle is repeated.  

Joy, sadness.  Smiles, tears.

I know.  It’s hokey.  Sentimental slop.

But, that’s life.

Life is hokey.  It’s mushy.  It’s sloppy.

It’s horribly messy.  Horribly.

But, I’ll say this:  Better are tears wiped from the eyes while driving away than the voice of regret for never having come.

The memories of times, happy or sad, spent with loved ones are infinitely more to be treasured than the times passed in self-centered pursuits.  When, in the passing years, we sit and speak of the good times, we will remember occasions filled with voices and faces, laughter and tears.

The time we share with people is precious; hours wasted in the dark and quiet are hardly remembered at all, save with regret.

One could read the words I’ve scattered on this page and nod his or her head in affirmation, agreeing completely about time spent with family.  And yet, I stopped talking about family quite a way up the page.

The statement was: It’s what happens when we love people.  

Sad.  Joyful.

People.  

Family.  Neighbors.  Strangers.  Enemies.

People.

Being a writer, and working to make my articles more accessible has led me to visit and read more divergent views of faith and life than I once did.  There is a recent theme that has disappointed me, even worried me.

Why I Ditched the Church Scene (and why you should, too).

Folks who have been hurt, or seen sin in the lives of others, or had disagreements with leaders, are leaving the church in droves.  They are not going out to start a new fellowship.  They are ditching church altogether.

I wonder.  

I’ve said it before myself.  I don’t want to go to church today.

And, I will admit here for the first time publicly, in my head I have said it differently.  I don’t want to go to church ever again.

Not ever.

Do you know why I keep going to church, with all those hypocrites and fakes—with all those sinners?

They need me.  

pebbles-56435_640No, not because I’m so holy.  Not because I’m so wise.  They need me because I’ve got some rough edges that can bump against the rough edges they bring with them each week.  (Hebrews 10:24-25)

This hypocritical fake, who still has a problem with sin, loving them can do what humanity is intended to do.  Help them to be better people.

Help me to be a better person.

Is the church full of two-faced fakes?

Duh!

So is my music store.  So is the restaurant where I break bread.  So is the university where you got your degree.  We interact with them in those places, as well.

We are all flawed.  We all need help.

God gives it in the form of other flawed, helpless humans.  If we abandon them, we serve only ourselves.

And, in the end, if we serve only ourselves, we harm everyone.

Will there be tears?

Will there be unhappiness?

It is a certainty.  

What is also certain is that as we live in community, we learn to be the men and women God intended for us to be.

From each other.  By being with each other.

I said there will be tears and unhappiness.  There will also be great joy and celebration.

It’s what happens when we love people.

And God.

Some day, He’ll wipe those tears away Himself.  (Revelation 21:4)

For now, I’ve got a sleeve I can wipe them on.

 

 

 

Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened.
(Anonymous ~ attributed to Dr. Seuss ~ American author ~  1904-1991)

 

 

 

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
(Hebrews 10:24-25 ~ NLT)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved. 

When the Music Stops

 I can’t see you.

I was out on a run this evening when her message arrived.  Having nearly runner-728219_640completed the first mile of a gentle three-mile run, I was feeling pretty good.

The music in my headphones suddenly stopped and the harsh clang of the message indicator hammered my eardrums.  I glanced down at my phone, held tightly in the plastic-and-velcro carrier on my arm.  The Lovely Lady had words for me.

I stopped.  When she talks, I listen.  Well, most of the time, I listen.  Sometimes, I just appear to be listening.  Perhaps, we’ll leave that subject for another day.

She couldn’t see my progress along the route on which I was running.  The fitness program I use not only tells me how far and fast I’ve run, it sends a GPS signal to other interested parties, showing where I am.

She’s interested.  I’m only half-teasing when I say she needs to know where to send the ambulance.

But tonight, she couldn’t see me.

I  made a change or two to the phone while standing alongside the road, sending a message back right before trotting on my way.

“Can you see me now?”

It took a few moments for her negative reply to arrive, but I was already back to full speed, and didn’t want to stop again.  I sent a curt, almost insensitive message.

“I’m just going to keep running.  Sorry.”

The problem is fixed now, so there shouldn’t be a repeat of her trepidation the next time I head out to feed the fitness bug.  

She needs to see me.

I know the feeling.

There are days, a lot like today—no, just like today—when I stop in the midst of all the commotion and overpowering sense of futility, and say the words.  Sometimes, I say them right out loud—sometimes I shout them in the vacuum of my spirit.

Where are you, God?  In all of this—this pointless exertion—are You here?

I can’t see Him.

On top of the commotion, a longtime friend’s mother was laid to rest today; and a young lady, whose acquaintance I made a few years back when she attended the local university, sent news that her father passed away early this morning. Another friend is grieving the loss of her granddaughter, only a year old.

I can’t speak for them.  I simply know it is at times like these when I want most to know that God is near.  And it is, for some strange reason, at times like these when I can’t see Him.

I can’t see Him.

And the music, which is the joy of life, has stopped.  Either that, or I just can’t hear the sweet melodies and harmonies in my ears like I could before.  Regardless, the silence is unbearable.

Blind and deaf, I stand—wondering if I’ll ever see Him again—uncertain if the sweet music will ever begin again.

It’s funny.  If you stand in darkness and silence for awhile, the senses are sharpened.  

Even now, I can almost hear the whisper—if I try.

I will never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I won’t leave you as orphans.  The world won’t see me, but you will. (John 14:18-19)

Even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, nothing evil will touch you. (Psalm 23:4)

The longer we listen to the whisper of His voice, the easier it is to hear.  In the quiet, He speaks to our spirits.  

We only have to listen.

Still.  I want to see Him.

I’m remembering today that we’re not home yet.  Here, we see dimly.  

There?  Face to face.  Clearly.

On that day, with our loved ones (if they were His followers), we’ll see Him.

What a glorious thought!

We’ll see Him.

That’s funny.  I think I can hear music again, too.  You know, there’ll be music in that place, as well.  The thought brings joy.

I want to see Him.  He does give glimpses here at times.  Enough to give us courage.  And strength.

So, I’ll keep walking.

You too?

We could walk together.

I’d like that.

 

 

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.  So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
(2 Corinthians 5:6-9 ~ ESV)

 

 

Open our eyes Lord
We want to see Jesus,
To reach out and touch Him
And say that we love Him.
(from Open Our Eyes, Lord ~ Robert Cull ~ American pastor/songwriter) 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Beauty and Chaos

He’s doing an art project.

artist-brush-983590_1280An art project. 

Only two months ago, his little boy died.

Today, he’s working at making something beautiful. 

I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around this one.  I have a few questions.

Does God feel sadness?  How is it that He keeps giving us beautiful things, long after we, made in His image, have hurt and destroyed others, also made in His image? 

Long after we killed His only Son.

Why would He continue to bring us each new gorgeous dawn—each new colorful Spring—He who upholds all with the power of His hands?  (Colossians 1:16-17)

Does He feel sadness?

His Son did, as He walked on the earth.  I’ve told you before of one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  I’ve committed it to memory.  Even now, I can remember it word for word.

Jesus wept. (John 11:35)

Along with His followers, He felt intense sadness.  He had no fear of lessening His influence on them by allowing them to see His tears.  There was no embarrassment in showing His emotional state.

Yet, He was the embodiment of His Heavenly Father.  The exact image. (Colossians 1:15-16)

God feels sorrow.

He feels sorrow, yet He continues to astound us with beauty.

Me?  I mope when I’m sad.  I sit in my chair and sigh pitifully.  I gripe and I grouse, lashing out at those around me.

Work on an art project when I’m down?  Produce things of beauty when I hurt?  Hardly.

He does.

The young artist/father I visited with in my business today does, too.  He, in the midst of the storm, turns to creativity to bring beauty out of his chaos.  Then, when the art project fizzles, he makes music.

From the ashes of catastrophe, he draws out beauty.  

It doesn’t mean the pain of loss isn’t ever-present—a shadow lurking on the fringes.  He just refuses to wallow in it, to let it have the reins of his existence.

The sun didn’t show its face today in the sky.  The gray day worked its way into my spirit in much the same way the cold crept into my bones  But in my store, the brilliant illumination couldn’t be cloaked.

Light overcomes darkness.  Always.

Always.

Maybe it’s time for us to give the dark times to a God who still makes beauty from darkness.

Give your dark times to a God who still makes beauty from darkness. Click To Tweet

I’m thinking brighter days are ahead.

 

 

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
(Martin Luther King Jr. ~ American pastor/civil rights activist ~ 1929-1968)

 

 

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.  And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.  And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
(Genesis 1:2-4 ~ KJV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Frosted Glass

I woke up this morning and, looking out the window, wondered about the fog.

Didn’t the weather man say it would be sunny this morning?

Mere seconds later, the fog cleared.  No, not the fog I was seeing through the window.  The fog in my brain.

Looking at the window again, I remembered that the exterior storm windows, set at a distance of a few inches from the original single-pane glass, hold in the moisture of the night.  On cold mornings, the view through the windows is dim and foggy, regardless of the weather outside.

road-815297_1920Sunny.  There was no fog—no mist.  

A beautiful morning.

It would not be many more hours before the fog was back.  The fog in my head, I mean.

I read the words once.  “Saying goodbye to my father…”

I read them again, this time through tears.  His father is a friend, an encourager, a tease.  One of my favorite people.

It’s not true.  He can’t be dead.

I don’t know what happened to the sun.  Perhaps the tears that came unbidden fogged up the view, but it was dim even after I wiped them away.

The rest of my day was viewed through a dark lens.  Tears, sarcasm, anger—all of them were close to the surface and likely to be unleashed without provocation.

I argued with two young men on separate occasions this afternoon.  They needed to know how dark the world is.  

I took care of that task.

One of them, a man in his late twenties, now clearly understands that his days of carefree happiness are numbered. The reality of death, which will close in to take scores of his friends as he ages, has been explained thoroughly to him.

The second, a slightly older father of two, now grasps fully the ugliness of sin hidden inside every person he respects and loves.  I did my best to explain to him that it would be every person who would disappoint.  Every person. 

The red-headed lady who raised me would have suggested at this juncture that misery loves company.  

I wasn’t done yet.  

Late this afternoon a longtime friend about my own age related his enjoyment at watching a documentary of a famous singer who, though struggling with Alzheimer’s, still finished his farewell concert tour.  It seemed, to my friend, a triumph in the face of overwhelming odds.

Astounded that anyone should see even one ray of sunshine on such an obviously dark day, I set him straight, citing my mother’s experience with the horrible disease before her death last summer.  I wasn’t gentle, helping him to understand with graphic descriptions of the horror.

I have apologies to make.

More than that, I need to learn to trust a loving God, who sees the beginning and the end.  When events overwhelm, He sends messengers to offer words of comfort, but I, drowning in the dark waves, attempt to pull them down as well.

I will make my apologies.  

Learning to trust will take longer—perhaps a lifetime.  

Tonight, I’m in agreement with the Psalmist, who suggested that he had some complaints to make and asked that they be heard.  (Psalm 64:1)

Funny thing.  He got to the end of his complaining and found there was light at the end of the darkness.  (Psalm 64:10)

Light.  And hope.

It is not so dark here as I thought.

I’m hearing from lots of my friends who believe the entire world is dark and without hope.  Events and fears have colored the glass through which they view all of God’s creation.

This morning, as I walked out of my house, the sunshine was brilliant beyond description.  The storm windows, designed to protect, had given an illusion of a world covered in cloud.

Beyond the illusion, the sun is still shining.

The light has shined into darkness and has not been overcome by it.

It is not so dark out here.

 

 

 

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World.
(Christopher Columbus ~ Italian explorer ~ ca. 1451-1506)

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall make smooth your paths.
(Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ NKJV)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Not Broken

The world is broken.lens-755539_1280

Broken.

A friend mentioned that his close friend died yesterday.  There was a torrent of sympathetic responses, mine among them.  Then, as the torrent subsided, he added one fact:  She had been killed by her husband—shot three times.

Broken.

In Arizona this week, a mother drowned her two-year-old twin sons and tried to drown another boy, because she thinks no one loves them—or her.  This happened the same week a court case began in California to try a mother who also drowned her son.  That woman says she acted out of love—to protect the boy from a horrible life.

Broken.

The list could go on for page after page—people of one religion killing people of other religions, folks of one race killing and torturing folks of another race,  ethnic groups with power abusing others without power—There seems no end of examples.

Closer to home, we live in a society of brokenness.  Broken families, broken friendships, broken children, broken health, broken promises, broken computer programs—even broken pencils.

All broken.

To the minutest detail, all of creation is susceptible to the brokenness inherent in every part.  The Preacher, in the Old Testament, added his endorsement when he told us that all is useless.  

Broken and useless.

I will admit it.  I am overwhelmed by the broken world in which we live.  I suspect, when you take time to consider it, you are as overwhelmed as I.

And then I realize we too are broken.  Overwhelmed and battered, as is all the world, our brokenness cries out for someone who can set things right.

And it turns out there is Someone who has already done the deed.  We simply have to put ourselves in His hands.  They are, after all, the hands of a Creator—a Potter who knows His craft, and His material. (Jeremiah 18:3,4)

He knows that we are dust.  He knows that we shatter too easily.  And, He already knows what the vessel we will one day become is to look like.

He already knows what the vessel we will one day become is to look like. Click To Tweet

From the broken shards, a thing of beauty.  Or perhaps simply, a thing of salt-potteryusefulness.  I think that might be better.

Broken, made useful.  Efficient. Filled with purpose.

In a broken world, we can serve His purpose.

May we be no longer broken.  That was the way we came to Him.  Not the condition in which we are to leave His wheel and kiln.

Useful.

In a still-broken world.

 

 

 

 

All of God’s people are ordinary people who have been made extraordinary by the purpose He has given them.
(Oswald Chambers ~ Scottish evangelist/teacher ~ 1874-1917)

 

 

 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18 ~ NIV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved. 

Noonday Bright

The birthplace of Christianity was the tomb.  The birthplace of splendor is desolation.  Spring is conceived in the dark womb of Winter.  And light is inevitably the offspring of darkness.  All this present heaviness of night is surely but the prelude to a better dawn.  The voice of God and the voice of Nature proclaim that the best is yet to be—always, the best is yet to be.
(Robert Cromie)

There is an unseen current of distress which I sense in much of my interaction with folks these days.  From my friends who use their understanding of the Bible to prop up their dim view of the future of civilization, to those who see the changing political landscape in our country—indeed, in the world—as proof of our impending calamity, there is an air of certainty and of finality.

I myself, and no time more than when I sit down to write, have of late been overcome by the melancholy sense of things which have passed beyond recall.  Friends are missing from my life—friends who were here just moments ago.  Family members have disappeared—people I loved and who loved me—never to be encountered again while I breathe this air.

All is dark.  The end will soon be upon us all.

But, is it?  Will it?

I cannot begin to count the number of times in my lifetime I have heard folks predict the ending of this world.  From the same Bible I read and believe, they have found proof of days and seasons, and some, even times.  But, again and again, the day, the season, and yes, even the time has passed and life continues here on this spinning ball.

I do not wish to discount the prophecies cited, but I am skeptical of the ability of any living man to  successfully render an accurate reading of passing events with hopes of naming the day or even the season in which the end will come.

It seems to me that it is not our purpose in this life to look to the ending of time, but to work while we still have it on our side.

springsongBut, I have a different purpose here, a purpose not tied up in prophecy or politics.  The writer of Hebrews suggests we have a responsibility to encourage each other.  He says it is even more imperative as we see the end approaching.  Even more.

Encourage, verb:  Give support, confidence, or hope, to (someone).

I’m ready to be done with the doom and gloom, to move out from under the cloud of defeat and into the light of victory.  That said, it seems we start from a position of disadvantage.  It is dark and cold here in the real world.

In this dark world, where is the light of day to be found?

If you noticed the painting above, you may have had the passing thought: how sweet—a little girl looking at a songbird.

You would be partially right.  There is a little girl.  There is even a songbird.  You would also be partially wrong.

She is not looking at the bird.  The artist’s daughter, the subject of this touching tableau, is completely blind.

The world in which the little girl grew up and lived was permanently dark.  It didn’t stop her from hearing the song of the robin and knowing winter could not last forever.  The barren ground would explode with grasses and flowers; the trees would burst forth into bloom, filling the air with the aroma of their buds.  In the heart of that little girl, who would never see Spring, the glory of that blessed season was already bursting forth.

Spring is conceived in the dark womb of Winter.

I refuse to live in the dark of  night, when all about me is the orange of the sunrise.  I cannot remain in the black grip of sadness, when the joy promised in the morning is already at hand.

Do you hear the robin’s song too?  Are you ready to head out in the early blush of dawn on a road that leads to a noonday bright?

It is not so dark here.  Maybe we could travel together a while.

The voice of God and the voice of Nature proclaim that the best is yet to be—always, the best is yet to be.

 

 

 

For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright.
And Christ’s great kingdom shall come on earth,
The kingdom of love and light.
(from We’ve a Story to Tell to the Nations ~ H Ernest Nichol ~1862-1928)

 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
(John 14:27 ~ NIV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

No Goodbyes

“I’m about done here.  Gave my notice this week.”

My jazz-playing friend slipped the momentous news in between the discussion of his guitar amplifier’s deficiencies and a question about some sheet music.

I almost missed it.

“Let me check on that title and we’ll get it printed for…  Wait!  What?”

Ten years I’ve known the man.  Ten years ago, he was temporarily relocated here with dozens of folks when Hurricane Katrina hit his little city in southern Louisiana.  After a few months, most of the others went back home to New Orleans.  He decided to stay.

Now, Atlanta calls.  People like jazz there.  Enough to pay a living wage to the musicians who love playing it. 

He is leaving.  By the end of the month.  For good.

I didn’t take the news well.  He wants me to be happy for him.  I am. 

It’s me I’m sad for.

I hate goodbye.

Funny.  I knew his stay here was temporary from the start.  We were always going to say goodbye. 

Someday.

Just not today. Or this week.  Or even this month.

It’s easy to get carried away by the weight of a word.  This one just has so much packed into it. 

Goodbye.

Goodbye is what we say when fathers and brothers (and not a few mothers and soldiersgoodbyesisters) go off to war, many never to return.  Goodbye is what we breathe as we watch the over-packed car pull out of the driveway with our child on his or her way to college.  Goodbye is what we sob when the casket is closed on the face of someone we loved more than anyone else in this world.

Goodbye.

As a child, I once thought if I didn’t actually say the word goodbye, the separation wouldn’t happen.  Voila!  Problem solved!

Except, it didn’t work. 

I missed the departure of my grandparents one Fall day when I tested my theory.  Knowing it was the morning they would pull out dragging their gleaming, space-age Airstream trailer behind the old 1965 Pontiac Catalina, I simply went out to the field and hid.

Funny.  Goodbye happens whether we say the word, or not.  They were gone, and I missed it.  I missed them.

Goodbye happens.  We’re only here temporarily.  Every one of us.  One day, I’ll say my final goodbye, too. 

That’s odd

Final goodbye.  The last one.  For all of eternity.

If, like me, you believe there is more–and I’m sure there is–you’ll understand the impact of that statement.

Not one more goodbye.  Not one.

All tears wiped away.  No more death.  No mourning, no crying, no pain.

But, not every person we know will be there.  Unlike the pap being fed to this world by the deceiver, there is no hope that anyone could ever experience it without the grace our Savior purchased as He died for us.  The free gift is offered, but it must be accepted.

I sometimes wonder if we’ll miss those who have chosen to follow a different path, rejecting the grace of a God who hates goodbyes just as much as we do.  Perhaps those will be the tears–the last ones shed–He will wipe away from our eyes.

What a day!  What a reunion.  And what a multitude of hellos.

My friend is still leaving this month.  I am still sad.

I hate goodbye.

 

 

 

…but if you have been – if you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you – you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing is ever going to happen again.
(from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe ~ C.S. Lewis ~ English author ~ 1898-1963)

 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
(Revelation 21:4 ~ ESV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

 

Got an extra 3 minutes?  You could do worse than to spend them listening to Selah’s version of God Be With You.  Beautiful song with powerful imagery!

Essentials

The thunder reverberates in waves outside.  Again.

I have been here before.

Usually, the sound gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside and I smile and breathe a prayer of thanks to the Creator.

It is, after all, Springtime in the foothills of the Ozarks, and time for the thunderstorms and the rain that replenish the many rivers and lakes.  The farmers count on the rainfall for a good year, some needing plentiful hay crops for livestock, while others await the yield of fruit on trees and vines, come Fall.

Rain is essential to all life.

Lü-WenyingVillageinRainstormThere is no smile on my face tonight.  The prayers I’m breathing to the Creator are for relief from the torrential downpours which have caused incredible hardship for many and even loss of life for some.  The floods have carried away people and property alike.  To some, it must appear that rain is to be hated, an evil thing intent on their destruction.

Rain is essential to all life.

It’s still true, isn’t it?

He makes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust equally.  He sends the rain to fulfill His purpose and it will not return to the heavens without accomplishing what it was sent out for.  Rain waters the earth, and the earth give forth its harvest.  Again and again.  One season follows another, the cycle uninterrupted.

Still, I’m not smiling.  I don’t even know what to say in my prayers now.

I agree that we require rain for life.  I dare not ask for the cycle to be broken.  And yet. . .

My friend and his family spent last night in one end of his home, waiting for the old oak trees to topple onto the roof at the other end.  Two had already fallen and crushed cars in the driveway and these were leaning, their roots pulling loose from the wet soil.

Others I know have spent dark, damp nights waiting for the break of day to see where the water line is on their walls and furniture.  Still others have prayed and cried as the waters rose and then receded.

Their homes were untouched, but not their spirits.

And suddenly I know how to pray.

Why do we focus on the physical, when God clearly places a premium on our spiritual well being?  Are we really that short sighted?

“Please God, take this away from me!  I don’t want to suffer.”

It’s the prayer I have prayed again and again.  The same prayer I have heard from loved ones.

I’m still not smiling.  I am filled with hope, though.

I will sit, here in the comfort and safety (for now) of my home, and pray for the protection of the spirits and souls of my friends and all those affected by the disasters they are suffering.

God has not promised ease and comfort, nor has He guaranteed physical immunity from disaster.  What He has vowed is that the uncomfortable and dangerous times will not touch the real us–the center of our being which is of infinite value to Him.

When you walk through the floods, they will not overwhelm you!  When you walk through the flame, you won’t be burned.  Have no fear; I have redeemed you; I have called you by name.  You are mine!

Is the physical suffering real?  Does He care about that?  Yes and yes!  But, He cares so much more about who we are beyond the physical and the temporal.

He intends to spend eternity with us!  How would He not keep us from harm?

It doesn’t mean I’m about to start smiling yet.  People I know are still frightened and sad.  He made us to care about that.  But, deep down, I know that God’s got this.

He’s got this!

The waters will recede.  The trees will be cut up to use as firewood next winter.  Life goes on.

The cycle is unbroken.

Here comes the rain again.

God is good.

 

 

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.”
(Corrie Ten Boom ~ Dutch author/Nazi Holocaust survivor ~ 1892-1983)

 

 

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
(Isaiah 43:2 ~ ESV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Good Things

But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions think.
(Lord Byron)

Leo_Tolstoy02

Thousands?  Millions?  Hardly that, for all the words I will slather on this page like so much honey onto a slice of bread, but perhaps some will think anyway.  A few.
                   

I left her a few moments ago, sitting in her customary place under the lamp, patiently placing stitch after stitch of thread into the canvas on her lap.  She looked into my face just before I turned away.  What the Lovely Lady saw there, I don’t know, but she interpreted my emotions in that split second.

“Don’t be depressed.”  The words came out more as a supplication for a favor than a demand.  

She knows me.

My work day was a little tumultuous, emotionally.  More than a little. 

The day started with a visit from a young man with whom I’ve been acquainted for a number of years.  I knew him when he was a middle-schooler,  still in his early teens.

I still picture him–No, not just a picture, but a video–in my head, sitting on a stool over in the corner.  There is an acoustic guitar in his hand, and he is singing.  Clear and pure, the melody flows from his mouth, his vocal chords producing tones I could never dream of making myself.  The ordinary guitar in his hands has become an instrument of magic, the chords and arpeggios flowing effortlessly to blend with the sonorous vocals of the song. 

I have listened to hundreds, perhaps thousands, of individuals, both young and old, as they sit and play in my store.  For almost forty years, they’ve come through.  Many are just beginners, the chords they play halting and timid, the strumming patterns almost not patterns at all.  Some, more experienced, are quite good, their playing pleasant to hear, the vocals (when they come) adequate.  There are even a few who are accomplished musicians, confident in their skill, and comfortable with the few customers who make up their audience.

This young man though–I have never seen a more natural performer, nor listened to more raw talent.  Never.  He played flawlessly, his fingers flashing over the strings.  And, when he sang?  Ah, when he sang, he was in a world all his own, oblivious to anyone else in the room.  From a beautiful broad baritone range, up to the powerful high tenor voice, and then on into a beautiful clear falsetto, he sang without fear and without imperfection.

I remember thinking, this one–this one is going to go places and do amazing things with his gifts. I had no doubts success would be his.

It was inevitable.

It was not.

I’m not sure where the young man’s experiences have taken him in the ten years since I first heard him, but those years have not been friendly to him.  Gone is the genial, confident boy I knew.  Gone too, is a large part of his raw talent, sacrificed on the altar of drugs.

I will not dwell on the sadness in my heart; it will come through on its own.  As I looked into the chemical-clouded eyes of my young friend, I saw no sign of recognition, no smile of joy as in days past.  His voice was flat and emotionless, his responses to my questions slow, sometimes not coming at all.  Drug usage is a thief, stealing abilities and ambitions, leaving in their place detachment and resignation.

Don’t be depressed?  Why should I not?

How could I not?

I said it was a tumultuous day, didn’t I?  Tumultuous describes both highs and lows, a heady mixture of good and bad.  Today was such a day.

As the workday drew to a close, another friend came in.  A transplant from New Orleans, this middle-aged fellow has made his home in our small town for almost ten years now.  A little hurricane named Katrina blew him our way and he decided to stay.

An avid jazz lover, he hasn’t always found fellow musicians to play with, since this part of the country is not exactly a hotbed of jazz music.  Still, he slogs along, guitar in hand, making disciples where he can.

This afternoon, he and I were deep in conversation when another young man walked in.  The young college graduate picked up a guitar and strummed a chord or two.  Well-trained in a number of styles of music, he has developed a love for jazz recently.  Talk about a coincidence!

The two men had met before, and they greeted each other as the older jazz lover from New Orleans seated himself on a stool near the younger man.  Now both of them were holding guitars. 

They had just begun to play together, when still another young friend pushed the door open.  This fellow also has extensive training in various styles of music, having a few years of studio recording and touring with a popular Christian group under his belt.

Before I knew it, they were all holding guitars and playing, with some skill, the jazz chord progressions the older man called out to start with.  A moment later, you might have thought they had played together for years, the sound was so smooth and clean.  It wasn’t flawless, but it was good.

I left them to enjoy each other and the music, and I sat down at my desk.  

Disappointment had been my companion from the start of the day.  I wanted to hold that tight and wallow in the feeling.  My sadness at the waste of such talent was palpable.  The ten-year old video in my head was still playing, the once joyful vocals and accompaniment now solemn and tragic.

But, the music from around the corner intruded.    Yes.  That’s the word.  It intruded, driving out the dark, lighting the place with hope.  Joy, even.

A voice took up a melody–an old tune from the classic age of jazz.  Oh the shark has–pretty teeth dear, and he shows them–pearly white. . .

I have a new video to play in my brain now.  Mack the Knife is sitting ready to play and replay again when I need a good memory.  Two young men, sitting beside their new friend, a street-singer from New Orleans, are playing along in fine form.  His old voice, rough and soft all at once, is belting out the lyrics as he swipes at the strings of the old acoustic guitar. 

This moment is one to add to my collection.

A tumultuous day.  Just as it started with disappointment, so it ended with joy and satisfaction.

And, what of my disappointment?  What of the wasted young man?  Is that nothing?  Is he nothing? 

The answer is clear.  I am still sad.  And deeply concerned.  I will do everything that is in my power to help him.  But I cannot stay there. 

I will speak of the sad and the unseemly.  I will speak of it, but I won’t dwell there. 

I will dwell on the beautiful and the good.  There is, it seems, still a good bit of those left in this wide world which our Creator has given us to sojourn in.  And, we are still just passing through it.  Passing through on our way to a place where the beautiful and the good are all which will be seen and experienced.
                   

So, Lord Byron, these words in figurative ink have fallen onto my thoughts, here in the middle of the night. 

Let us see if perhaps, just perhaps, a small percentage of your thousands, or millions can be induced to think.

 

 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
(Philippians 4:8 ~ NLT)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.