It happens every morning.  I’m sure it does; I just don’t see it often.

Missed opportunities.  They used to haunt me.  Really.  I’d try to get to every music concert, every church meeting, every coffee get-together—you name it; if it was happening and I could be present, I was there.

Driven by guilt.  And maybe a little bit of obsession.

Perhaps, I should finish the first thought before I get on my little soapbox, huh?  I’ll do that.

The shadow stood at my bedside in the dark room this morning.  7:05, the clock read.  7:05!

The shadow spoke.

“The sunrise is spectacular this morning!”

Other than a quick hug and a mumbled “goodbye, I love you,” that was it. I was alone on the queen-size bed in the darkness.  Back to sleep.  Life goes on as usual.

That’s not what happened.  I rolled over, hugging her pillow close. But, I didn’t go back to sleep.

Sunrise!  It happens every morning; so what’s the big deal?  Sleep is better—especially when my head didn’t hit the pillow until 2:30 this morning.

The thoughts ran through my non-sleeping brain.

I got up.

A few minutes later, I was standing at the upstairs window, looking out over the rooftops in the neighborhood.

Wow!  This happens every day?

Every day?

I snapped a photo or two to save the moment in my memory.  I sent one of them to the Lovely Lady.  Some things need to be shared.

She sent me back a photo of the gecko under her desk this morning.  I guess she felt that some things need to be shared, too.

But, I’m wondering about the bigger picture now.  What about all the other things I’m missing out on?  While I’m sleeping.  And when I’m awake, too.

I remember when my oldest grandson was an infant and he refused to go to sleep in his crib.  My son-in-law introduced me to the term we’ve all become familiar with as he described the phenomenon.

“FOMO.  He’s afraid we’re going to do something while he’s asleep and he can’t stand to not be part of it.”

Fear of missing out.

We laughed.  We still do.

But, it’s true.  We want to be included in whatever’s happening.  And sometimes, we feel guilty when we don’t participate in all of it.

Why are we so driven by that guilt?

I want to blame my church upbringing, citing those verses in Ephesians I heard so often growing up.

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
(Ephesians 5:15-17, NLT)

I want to blame my guilt on that.  But, words are just words until we understand them.  The Word of God is the same.  His Spirit gives clarity as we study them and then live them out.

Yes, we make the most of every opportunity.  But we don’t act thoughtlessly.

Trying to be involved in every good activity is acting thoughtlessly.  And, being consumed by guilt when we don’t show up for all of them is harmful.  To us and others around us.

I’m going to miss out on a few sunrises.  And, concerts.  And, coffee breaks.

But occasionally, I’m going to stumble out of bed, climbing the wooden stairs in my bare feet to stand at the window in awe and gratitude for another day and a beautiful re-creation of the dawn.

Just, maybe not tomorrow morning.

 

Morning has broken
like the first morning,
blackbird has spoken
like the first bird.
Praise for the singing!
Praise for the morning!
Praise for them, springing
fresh from the Word!
(From Morning Has Broken by Eleanor Farjeon, 1931)

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2023. All Rights Reserved.